Lenten Journal (Sat Feb 25th): Fathers

Dear Father, 

 It seems so strange to write this one. I’m not sure who I’m speaking more about - You, or my earthly father - my Daddy, to differentiate as I write. For myself, at least. I know that You know what I mean. Even when I don’t. 

Lord, last time I wrote about my sisters, mostly, and I said that my Daddy was my earthly hero. In an effort to thank You for him sufficiently, I’d like to try to describe him. Tomorrow, I think I’ll write about mothers, because that’s brewing in my head even now. I don’t know why this Lent is turning into reflections on my family and our shared past, but it is. 

My Daddy is a great man, Lord. You blessed my sisters and I so much by giving us to him…and him to us, in the same moment. The relationship of father and daughter is such an important one, Lord. Our fathers are the first men we know, and we expect all men to be like our daddies. Sometimes, this isn’t a good thing - I know so many girls who are wary of men because of their fathers. Not that they don’t love their fathers, of course, and not that their fathers ever abused them, but some aspect of their relationship has darkened their view of men forever. 
It’s because of my Daddy that I still believe in knights and princes. You gave me a father who taught me what a good man is. A man who works tirelessly for his family without complaining, a man who loves his daughters and would do anything to protect them, a father who is good and gentle and kind and honorable, even when the world has forgotten what those things are.

When I was little, he was in the military. Our world was full of weeks-long training and other things I didn’t fully understand, ceremonies in armories and a year-long tour in Bosnia, crying and shouting after him as he flew away on an airplane.

My father’s faith is strong, Lord, even though sometimes I feel like he doesn’t show it. I know that it’s there, because it’s in everything he does. It’s in him taking us to Mass on Sundays, standing tall at the end of our pew, holding our hands during the Our Father and letting his wife and daughter go before him to Communion. It’s in the way he treats other people, even though his job has made him wary of some of them. It’s in the way he helps us through life, the way he makes us laugh even when we don’t want to. It’s in the way he treats animals and children. Really, it’s in everything he does, but for some reason I never quite noticed it until now. He makes me think of You, Lord.

I know that my earthly father isn’t perfect - heaven knows we’ve had our disagreements. And I know that You are perfect. But I truly think that my Daddy is Your reflection in so many ways. And I think that he is the reason I was so willing to accept You as my heavenly Father. Lord, You know Your children. And You know how they will help each other. I know that You give children to certain parents for a reason, and that it is our own choices that turn child and parent against each other. You gave us the family and taught us how to treat each other. It’s our fault when that falls to pieces.  I know that You had a purpose in giving me the father I have, and I am so, so grateful for that. I don’t know who I’d be without him, just like I know I’d be lost without You. So thank You, Father, for my daddy. And thank You for being the Father You are to Your children. 

@3 months ago