Lenten Journal (Fri Feb 24th): Family

Dear Lord, 

Today is my sister’s birthday. She’s turning fourteen. I still remember the day she was born…how could I ever forget it? There have been times, Lord, when I was so impatient, so frustrated, that I’ve wished to be an only child again. But I don’t, I never could. My sisters are such a blessing, God. And such a reminder of time.

When you gave J to us, I was four and a half. I remember that being important - being half a year older than just four. And I bought her a little stuffed bear in the hospital gift store. Just before Nonnie, Poppa, and I left, I remember being so upset that we couldn’t all just go home, right now, because when you’re four you don’t understand that you’ll have a sister forever.
When you gave A to us, I was seven, and more independent than I really had cause to be - I’d lived in my grandparents’ home for a year with my mom and sister, while Daddy was away with the military. Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa worked all day, and were tired in the evening. If there was something that I wanted, and it was possible, I would get it for myself because it was faster than trying to wait for them to have a spare moment.

And then time passed, and now J is fourteen and Annie is eleven. And I’m eighteen. You gave us such happy childhoods, Lord - I can never thank you enough for that, for blessing us with parents who have strong faith, who raised us in the church and taught us everything parents should teach children. Thank you for giving me a mother who listens to me, who I know would die before she let any harm come to me. Thank you for giving me a father who protects me, who risks his life for the good of others on a daily basis, and who is my earthly hero. I think a lot more about them now that they’re not always here, and my phone calls home are such an anchor for me. And, now that I think about it, prayer is kind of the same way, isn’t it? Like a phone call home. Like an anchor. You’ve given us this beautiful, powerful tool. How is it that sometimes it slips from our minds? Why do we let ourselves forget the power that prayer possesses? 

This Lent, Father, help me to remember to pray without ceasing - help me to remember that this phone call home never ends, that I am always on the line with You…and You are my first priority, the Father who loves His children, who would do - and has done - anything for them. The God who would do anything, who would die, even die on a cross, in order to pay the ransom of his captive people. Help me to feel for my heavenly family what I feel for my earthly one, and to turn to them as soon as I would turn to any of the others. 

Thank you, Lord, for this day. For helping me to follow through with my Lenten sacrifice and for tending to me as I grow. I love you, Father. 

@3 months ago